We decided that now the small boy was finally three and could almost say ‘Cimima’ that he was ready to sit through a big screen showing of a feature film with the rest of the family ?
Despite expecting to write a post about the total nightmare it was, it turned out (more by luck than judgement) we had been right on this occasion ??. He sat through 90 minutes of Kung Fu Panda 3 pretty uneventfully! (All that time spent watching Peppa Pig has not been in vain!)
So, while the experience itself had been uneventful it reminded me that going to the movies before and after children were somewhat different…
Seven ways going to the cinema before and after children are different.
1.) Movie choosing
After Children: Research films for months in advance, wait for age appropriate release that is suitable for all small people and passes as bearable for grown ups
Before Children: Just rock up and see any old movie, no biggie, if it’s rubbish, there was always next week…
2.) Movie timing
AC: Plan trip at least a week in advance for suitable time slot to fit around kids activities/parties/bedtimes/homework and pre-book seats, once day finally comes realise is first dry sunny day in yonks and we’re spending it in dark, windowless room ?
BC: At about 4.30pm on Sunday afternoon, after snoozing off a hangover on sofa, moot the idea that we could maybe check out that film to possibly kill those dead hours before bed…
AC: Spend £44 on tickets for everyone
BC: Spend £4.50 each
4.) Cinema snacks
AC: Stop off at Co-Op on way and buy cheap, bright, fizzy sweets as refuse to spend an additional £44 on pick and mix once there
BC: Browse the new flavours of Ben and Jerrys mini tubs, purchase bucket of toffee popcorn, large carton of 7Up and possibly hot dog and/or nachos to ward off last signs of hangover
5.) Waiting for the film to start
AC: Spend five minutes deciding who’s best sitting next to who, repeatedly tell everyone to take coats off, dish out sweets and drinks from handbag, open sweets and drinks for everyone, pick up spilled sweets from the floor
BC: Settle down in to seats, chat (!), phone-check
6.) Watching film
AC: Watch the children watching the film, to check they’re enjoying it. Repeatedly ask various children if they need the toilet. Open more sweets. Ignore further sweets spilling on the floor. Try to stay awake
BC: Enjoy the movie
7.) Leaving the cinema
AC: Spend five minutes putting everyones coats back on, check three times that everyone has everything, cram armfuls of sweet wrappers and drinks bottles into the bin, take everyone to the toilet on the way out
But then they do have smiley little faces afterwards which tends to make it all worthwhile! (you’ll note the lack of coats – that’s because I’m carrying them all – obviously ?!)