I attended a Digital Detox retreat awhile ago, you can read about the experience over on my blog post What I learned from a Digital Detox at Swinton Bivouac – in this post I’m sharing six tips that I’ve revisited time and again since returning home from the digital detox.
Being a slave to our phones isn’t something we realise until we stop to think about it. As Mamas we are at the beck and call of everyone all day, everyday and the phone is just one more way we are at the mercy of others, putting their needs above our own.
Rather embarrassingly I didn’t actually know how to turn my phone off when asked to on the retreat! It’s something I now value hugely. The ability to switch off.
Here are the top six tips I took away from my Digital Detox
1 – It Will Wait
In this age of Instant – we are not used to waiting for anything. The clue’s in the name for some (Instagram). So we have come to expect that people will get back to us in an instant and we feel we’re letting people down if we don’t get back to them in an instant too. By having my phone off for 48 hours I learned that people can survive without me. That if it’s urgent they’ll keep trying and if it’s not they’ll work out the answer by themselves. Taking the power back so you’re in control is valuable.
2 – You are More Important than My Phone
Having your phone always means that you’re always putting your phone above everything.’ I can’t possibly turn it off what if someone’s trying to get hold of me’ (see point one). I found I was constantly bombing off the kids with an incredibly justified I’m just doing this bit of work on my phone. But the message it gives to my kids is; my phone (and my work) is more important than you. I’m trying to have dedicated times of the day to check my social channels now rather than being ‘Always On’.
3 – The Value of Turning your Phone Off
Having now learnt how to turn my phone off I’m loving it! I’ve set myself a goal to switch my phone off at 10pm every night, leave it downstairs and not check it until I’m out of bed and dressed and ready on a morning. Scrolling can waste so much time on a morning and you can so quickly end up down a rabbit hole and before you know it, you’re running late, which leaves you in a bad mood and all shouty as you know it’s your fault really!
4 – Modelling Good Behaviour
With teenagers in the house screen time and phone use is a way of life. I think by modelling good behaviour and ‘phone hygiene’ you have a better moral leg to stand on when you’re faced with push-back! We have rules in the house that phone stay downstairs at bedtime and aren’t on until after breakfast. No phones at the table.
5 – Switch off Sundays
I know some people have whole days dedicated to switching off for example with ‘Switch off Sundays’. For some people that means every Sunday they have a screen ban. So no phones, iPads, computers or TV. I understand that most people (and mainly their kids) would be horrified at the thought of this and push back against it. But over time I know people who have come to love Switch of Sundays. They say it gives the family time to do other things, go outdoors, day trips, play board games, bake and cook. While I think doing this every Sunday might be a bridge too far for us at the moment, perhaps once a month (or even for an afternoon) might be an achievable goal and something to work towards.
Photo credit – Charlotte Graham6 – Turn off your Notifications
I have my notifications switched off for everything apart from messages and WhatsApp (although I do have some groups muted!!). So if I need to check in on my social media or emails I go and actively get them at a time to suit me. Otherwise I would be being interrupted every two minutes with one ping or another. Just go into your settings and switch them all off! It’s amazing how much time it’ll give you back and phone checking becomes a thing of the past!
I’d recommend trying a digital detox to everyone. Even if you just leave your phone at home for the day or set some boundaries around when you have it switched on. It’s powerful and being mindful about how you use your phone gives the power back to you and away from the pings!
