Why I shouldn’t have worried so much about my shy child

A few nights ago we went out as a family to watch my twin girls in their school Easter performance at Church. There were around 100 children involved. Each one giving it their all and enjoying the uplifting  performance as much as the audience.

Amongst a handful of children chosen to take part in a speaking role in the performance was my little Miss K. it was lovely to watch her act out her part so confidently in-front of all her peers and their parents, it was quite a crowd and one that would have filled me with dread. She took it all in her stride though and confidently and precisely delivered her lines perfectly and clearly.

As well as being proud of how well she performed and the way she coped with the situation I was also completely astonished. Anyone who knows little Miss K will know she’s not always been like this. She’s a little girl who has always been a quiet little soul, so much so I spent a lot of time worrying about her when she was younger.

She was the child at parties who would be sitting on my knee, not want to join in any of the games. She was the child who cried quietly, trying to be brave, when I left her at nursery. She was the the child who didn’t want to be apart from me at someone new’s house. She’s was the child who didn’t like starting any new extra-curricular activity without me holding her hand.

She was the child I worried about; would she find some friends? Would she grow up to be independent? Was she always going to rely on me to always help her find her feet? I’d worry that perhaps I’d mollycoddled her too much and ought to be firmer, insisting she did just join in or tried to do things by herself. I doubted the way I’d handled her shy-ness and whether I was reinforcing it by letting her ‘get away with it’ and not pushing her into situations that would be uncomfortable for her.

Turns out, that all that time spent worrying has been unfounded. As she demonstrated to me at her Easter Performance she’s turned into a quietly confident, happy, independent little child. Long may it continue.

So for all you Mamas out there pensively worrying about what the future holds for your quiet, shy, little one who seems to stand out as being ‘the one who doesn’t like to join in’ – don’t spend too much time worrying. While she may not want to be up front performing in a show, more than likely, like my little Miss K, she’ll turn into a confident, happy, well rounded child. And that’s because  you’ve been there by her side for all those times in the past when she’s not been sure, giving her the springboard to launch herself off when she’s ready in her own time.